Bulimia

I have been having a lot of medical problems lately and I think I have finally found the cause. I think I am bulimic. I knew I was going through some severe depression, heart, and issues with recurring migraines. These things can all be explained by the bulimic disorder and it would explain a lot. The migraines tend to go away when I am out all day because I eat a very very small breakfast those days and if I can stomach it lunch and the heart problem I mentioned is low blood pressure which causes the body to become cold and tired due to the lack of food energy. Let me make it clear that I do not think I am fat or skinny I really couldn't care less about my body image I think it's just my mind's way of shutting me down slowly. Even in primary school I remember throwing food away because I couldn't eat everything my mom packed for me. The idea of downing a whole sandwich along with a pack of chips, apples, carrots,  and cookies in thirty minutes way back then terrified me so I would eat the cookies and give what I could away or trash it. My parents would go on diets and I would see how miserable they were while I was forced to eat something I didn't like every day until my plate was clean and then have some more. As a small kid who didn't like a lot of food, eating steak and pork chops was repulsive especially when my arms were too small and uncoordinated to work a knife. By the time I was in middle school my cafeteria finally sold candy and soda so all I would eat for lunch was a hershey bar and a coke for lunch mom still packed lunch but it literally repulsed me. Today my dad came home at four and asked me if I had been in bed all day. I had because as he knew I was sick and depressed but I hadn't eaten anything either and I wasn't hungry. I knew I should eat and shower again before I went back to bed so I went to get up and my blood pressure dropped and I started feeling a hundred times worse. My hair falls out and I am losing weight. When I eat I eat a lot and not healthy food most of the time. I think if I could enjoy food and life things would be better. If I feel well enough to get up and make myself food I am likely to make food I like and eat a lot of it. I suppose that goes for anything but it's hard when I am by myself all day or I don't have money to do the things I'd like but how do I break out of this when the holidays are over and everyone is at work? My antisocial tendencies and need for change due to financial struggle of the late keep me from joining church groups and clubs in fear of leaving as soon as I get comfortable there. Some rash decision must be the answer but I'll be at the doctor tomorrow so who knows.