So valentines day happened and I still hate valentines day. However I decided that instead of being depressed over the boyfriend I don't really want i would give myself a valentine every day until next year. Next February 14th I'll sit down and read them. Not that I would know but having a boy toy seems pretty exhausting. You have to pay attention to them whenever they need you which is all the time because boys are so needy and aside from that you have to trust they will be there when you need them with everything you need to get through all of life's hard situations. With college coming up who has time to feel sorry for themselves over a boy who won't ever stick with them. I have bigger plans besides I would never have my friends settle for less than their perfect so why should I?
As a kid I wanted a red and gold wedding outside in an orchard during the summer. I imagined myself with five very different children and two dogs. I wanted a house on cheap property that was old and worn down just so I could fix it up for my family. It was made to fit everyone with five bedrooms and a pool in the backyard. I wanted a job that let me be at home a lot so my kids would never miss a meal. I wanted a garden to feed them with. The kids have been named since I was twelve and now at seventeen I haven't changed them. While wanting this secure loving environment I wanted to change the world for the better not with small changes but big ones. I wanted to be president or senator or a government lawyer.
If I want all this how could my vision get so jaded as to think my standards ought to be lowered because of a boy who cares about me so much less than I care about him. So from now on I'll be my own valentine. I'll buy myself chocolate and flowers thanks.
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